The Magical Labia
I have this group of women that I communicate with daily on an online local message board. What started off as just asking general questions like, “Where’s a good place in Tempe to get sushi?”, or “Who knows of a good hairstylist in Glendale?” has turned into some pretty good friendships. Many of us now know each other extremely well through these daily posts that often turn into our own little private confession booths. We know details of each other’s lives that are probably way beyond what we’d let anyone else know. It’s incredible.
The message board soon spun off into conferences on Yahoo Messenger, then lunch dates all over the valley, followed by the inevitable mommy’s groups, baby showers and celebratory happy hours. We have gone from strangers asking general, every day life questions to a group of women actually care for and support one another. It’s like a weird chick-flick. And it doesn’t seem very strange to most of us–especially considering how many of us met our husbands on the internet. Thank you Match.com. 
It gets a little tricky, though, explaining these friendships to family members and other friends. Laura, one of the girls from the message board, told me a few weeks ago that she explains our friendships as a “professional women’s networking group.” Hey, it doesn’t sound too bad when it’s put into those terms. It actually sounds very grown up, prestigious and semi-political. That is, until the Magical Labia comes into the picture.
I’m not actually completely sure where the Magical Labia originated. I think it may have started with this chick named Marie (her name isn’t even Marie, but for some reason that’s what she’s known by). Regardless, ladies on the message board are constantly asking everyone else to “cross their fingers” for things–maybe it’s a new job, a family member’s recovery from an illness, a monetary windfall that would enable her to buy a new pair of shoes, whatever. Well Marie took this luck thing a step further than anyone else. She didn’t offer to cross her fingers. She offered up crossing her Magical Labia. And the scary part was that it actually worked! And we discovered that Marie wasn’t the only one with the Magical Labia. There is power in numbers!
So now whenever anyone on the message board has something that she really wants, she enlists the support of all of the Magical Labia. You’ll see post titles such as, “Magical Labia Needed!!!” or “Ladies, I need your Magical Labia.” There’s serious witchy power in those labia. Women have conceived children after months and months of no success due to the powerful crossed labia. Dream jobs have been obtained because the Magical Labia of 20 women were crossed. Money has mysteriously appeared in an overdrawn checking account after the Magical Labia was summoned. Who could have ever imagined that all of the power in the universe could be held in a group of women’s crotches in Arizona? Seriously. Ahhhh, if only there was some way to market the Magical Labia. None of us would ever have to leave the house to work again.
August 9th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Oh Brandi!! This is so true!! How beautifully you described our magical crossing. You know what has come to me in the last year as a result of crossing.
xo,
T